Brent

"When sorrows come, they come not single spies
But in battalions."

-William Shakespeare, Hamlet

My nominal good cheer is running rather low and it seems as though the only news I get is bad news. Generally bad news or rather good events that have occurred prompt me to post in this online screed tablet, so here I'm posting.

Little to nothing of late is going well, good, or right. Even my recent trip was tinged with a heap of disappointment, though seeing people was pretty much the high point of this year so far.

Hmmmn...upon examination when I say "of late" I fundamentally mean for a few months or so and it's not just a sour mood or a single thing. It's almost everything in fact. I am engaging in no level of hyperbole when I state such. The last two weeks have been particularly "full of suck" as one contemporary of mine would state.

Normally I'd wax on about whatever is bothering me or simply rant (probably to the amusement of those who actually read what I write here), but nothing that comes to mind here feels as though it would help or even entertain since if I'm going to be pissed, at least someone should get something positive out of it.

If I seem distant or like I've got something on my mind, that's at least the frame of mind that I am in. I'm doing my best to "trooper on" for the most part in my interactions with my fellow man, but if I seem close to being very sad or very angry this is at least a notification.

Good cheer is appreciated. I miss many of you that read this dearly. Thanks all.

-Brent

It is a true saying that "One falsehood leads easily to another".
-Cicero

My gut is telling me something is utterly wrong. It has been for a few days, either through idle thoughts or odd dreams. My gut hasn't been wrong about items such as this in a while.

Upon examination of this, and some responses that have been given careful pause and rumination during spare thought cycles over the past couple of days, I have come to the conclusion that I have been lied to.

I'm so mad I'm shaking.

This is a bit vague, and some of you may chat with me on it, but that's as far as I'm going to type on the topic on this forum.

I hope I'm just chasing shadows here, but I'm pretty sure that's not the case. People lie, facts do not.

-Brent

"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work."

-Aristotle

So I'm going to this job fair in five days...

Attention peoples of the District of Columbia!

I will be in town from Wednesday the 17th at 15:00 Hours from Reagan International to Monday the 22nd where my flight leaves at 11:30 from Reagan as well.

Many of you have offered crash space, and I would appreciate it.

Things I would like/require while I am there:

1.) I need to be at a locale in Springfield, VA from 10:00 to 15:00 hours on the 19th and have travel to and from there.

2.) Since I'll be there in the middle of the work week I'd like to, either through train or car, the chance to see the Smithsonian(s) on my own while people are at work.

3.) Hang out time as available. A shindig would be awesome, but even my vanity has it's limits.

4.) Pick up/Drop off to Reagan at the dates listed. If folks had to take me early in the morning to fit schedules, I'm good with that.

Please respond as able. I'll be sending phone calls as well since my current internet time is limited.

-Brent

"The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want."

-Ben Stein

Well I haven't updated this thing in a good long time, but at this point I've come to realize that's what I do.

Graduated with a good GPA, gave it a shot with Stacey in Miami, and though we are still cool we realize that our lives are going in different directions, and it would be best to remain friends rather than have things blow up as they invariable do in situations such as this. Such is the course of human events in my case. I know. I've seen me do it. However I'm marking this in the win column because most of the time we had together as a couple was positive and, like a friend of ours equated to BSG, we ended on a high note rather than a bad one.

I do miss my cat though.

Right now this means I'm living back at home for a bit while I job hunt (mostly out of state) and am going to a job fair in a few days in Washington D.C. for some specific work in specific fields that I am very excited in and I have a decent chance at a job offer getting made (though I'll have to wait to move and start work/training based on Security Clearance).

If I don't get any hits, then I'm sending my resume out there to those that have offered and looking for good work/careers.

That's all for now folks.

-Brent

"Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade?"

-Benjamin Franklin


It's been a while since I've done this. I was going to post more when I moved, but busy is as busy does.

I'm pretty much done with my undergrad, I've walked for graduation, and just have one general education course to take for a month this July. I'm not too sure what I'll be doing after the summer, though at the moment I am looking for some local work because as a friend of mine told me recently, "You have a powerful need to eat." The tentative plan involves taking the GRE so I at least have the option of doing grad school in a year, and a few people have suggested some specific work opportunities that would have me moving, but if the grass is greener I "Have Gun, Will Travel."

My parents came for graduation, huginnmuninn was there of course, as was vampiretanis. _envy_ came into town as well, and revmts surprised the hell out of me by making the journey from Little Rock. Following the ceremony I spent the day hanging out with them and the parental units, and more of the locals arrived. It was a good day, a day of days even...

As of right now I have a ton of errands to run through, including exit interviews with my department and financial aid that need to be done today. After that I need to dedicate some time to my "dork-job," better titled by another good friend of mine as "Associate King of Vampire Nerds, United States."

Since my last post things have been nuts...I'm not too sure how to recap effectively, but suffice it to say that things have been moving along in somewhat progressive fashion.

So far as people wanting to see me, until the work situation becomes more concrete, I cannot promise anything. However I will be in Shreveport for the SC FGOTM later this month to actually get to play my new PC since I do a bunch of Cam ST stuff in New Orleans. It's a short drive and people are caravaning.

Finally, I'm going to update a bit more often now that I have time and the inclination to do so, but I realized the other day that there are TONS of people on my friends list that I do not know. Please message me here if you want to stay on this LJ, and if it's a fiction-posting account, I'm going to remove it, but you can friend crimson_tales where I (rarely) do some writing (time and being able to play keeps that somewhat limited at the moment).

-Brent

"Nothing endures but change."

-Heraclitus


No update in a while, and this one will be short due to time constraints.

I have been traveling a great deal in the past few months for both school, Camarilla stuff, and just visiting people. Currently I'm in my new residence at Loyola in New Orleans, and this will be my home for at least a year, maybe more if I like the Grad School options in this neck of the woods.

On that note I have new stuff. I have a new phone, but my number is the same. It has a Decepticon icon and a bluetooth earpiece, so it's the second newest expensive thing I have ever owned (my car previouly counted, but it was three years old when I got it in 2003). I call the phone "Frenzy."

My newest item is my new laptop, so I will be on more often. I call it "Soundwave" and he is my desktop theme. Yes I have named my electronics after Decepticons. I think that this is glorious, no matter how "nerd-tastic" you might think it is. Pretty soon all the sound files for functions will be clips from the cartoon when I get around to it.

In line with better e-mail access, my new e-mail is at soundwave73080@gmail.com as I am phasing out my old Yahoo account.

A more informative update will be forthcoming folks. I'm off to lunch.

-Brent

"What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step to something better."

-Wendell Phillips


My current existence can be quantified by the phrase "bucket of ass..."

...and I don't mean the Biblical sense of ass.

The short-term planned Chicago trip was fun during, but it ended in a sickness-ridden journey 680+ miles alone in car over the course of a day and half to what would eventually be the end of my relationship with Ellie waiting for me at home.

So I am sick, just out of my relationship, stopped at the library currently as it is my only way to get to the internet, and also dejected about work.

My relationship was going downhill for a while now, and I think I handled the end of this one better than the last...but that's a bad sign in some ways.

There was no outpouring of emotion, just a cold realization on my part that the world is a mean place that has wonderful things in it. I don't like shutting down on people, but it seems to be the only socially acceptable method of dealing with events such as this.

I've had enough of wailing at the sky to date, thank you kindly.

I hope I can remain friends with her, but it will be weird at the very least for a while. Also I know me. I feel that sting, and it's pride fucking with me.

On my sales job with a "good company"...

...frankly I hate my job and the double standards I see every day. I am tired of the "We value you!" followed by "SNAP! We keep biting your hand." The only thing that keeps me there is the fact that I do not have another job lined up for the next four months, and having solvency is important. I even already have my recommendations that I need.

At this point I'd leave, take a pay cut, and smile. The other computer window has Monster.com open.

I wore my Dad's old Remington Arms hat to work (because though sick, I had to turn in some paperwork for sales and other items), and when someone asked me "Where'd you get the hat?" I responded with "It came with the gun."

I've been wanting to do that for years as I have had some clothing with firearms logos on them in my life. It would have been better if it was my supervisors that asked it though. Ah well.

There is a silver lining in this at least...

In four months time I will be back in school, almost done with undergraduate stuff and then probably working on a Masters unless I find some awesome work or get a wild hair up my ass to go get shot at. Ellie even said she would continue to help with the Loan stuff.

I still do not know where I am going...but I'm waiting to hear back from two of the private Universities. I have three acceptances already, and the order of "where I will be" set. Only a significant difference in department quality and cost will change that.

Were that I could fast forward that time...then again I'd regret that when I was an old man.


-Brent

"Underlying the whole scheme of civilization is the confidence men have in each other, confidence in their integrity, confidence in their honesty, confidence in their future."

-Bourke Cockran


I'm coming down off of being pissed so this is not a good update, but I'll make it short.

The Good:

Getting over the "emotional roller coaster" that was the past few months and enjoying my new relationship. Hopefully all things will be better with my dorky social circle by October on that front. Enjoyed a good deal of travel of late and saw some old friends I haven't seen in a while these past few months in St. Louis, Dallas, and Auburn. I went to Gen-Con and it rocked. I will be going to STL this weekend to see my girl and some friends if all goes according to plan....but I get to the bad....

The Bad:

Airline tickets screwed me on the recent Pheonix trip, but at least I got to go to Auburn.

Someone broke into my car again, this time in a NICE neighborhood. Same broken window, but not dorks this time....apparently they went through my gas receipts, drawers, insurance info, trunk, work clipboard, etc.....and didn't take anything that I've noticed. They even missed my iPod Shuffle.

Mother. Fuckers.

This possible nixes my weekend travel plans, and really, REALLY pisses me off.

Also someone told another friend that I had made some commentary on his sexual orientation at his expense, which I did not, and that didn't really fucking help my day either...and AND...all of this shit meant I couldn't go to work because I had to wait and talk to the police, and didn't really relish driving 60 miles with a shattered window.

By the end of this weekend I want to say: "My window didn't cost that much and that trip was fun!" while thinking of my girl and the really, really good beer at the Scottish Arms in St. Louis.

We shall see. But if I see a man breaking into a car, I shoot that man...Tombstone style.

-Brent

"Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?"

-Cicero

Amidst being hurt and broken, I have received bits and pieces of advice from friends who I call to keep my mind off of things. I need to thank Trigg, Michelle, Ricky, and Anthony specifically for some things said that helped me the most.

After examination, I thought of what she said to me that day...that we weren't happy. In the quiet moments of being angry, hurt, and broken I thought on one main word there...

"We"

We did fight as much as we enjoyed each other's company, but I looked at the hardship and difficulty of long distance, all of what I was enduring, and my feelings for her. I came to a conclusion that didn't just seem true, by God it felt like it.

As the night went on, I made those calls. Of the advice/statements I received, the following bits rang the most true as well:

"Do what you need to do to heal."

"She should speak to you on your terms, she owes you that much."

"A part of you loves her, how do we treat those that we love, even if it's not returned? We treat them with respect and dignity."

I endeavored and finally was able to speak to her and say a few things, no matter how much she didn't want to talk to me, or think that I should have been talking to her so soon.

I finally got to say what I needed to, what I couldn't say when I was hurt.

I am torn up now, and I was happy no matter the hardships. I wish there was something I could say or do to change the fact that she was not happy, but I couldn't. It hurts to go on every day, some being better and some being worse, but how I felt...how I feel...is true...

I love you and miss you, and I wish that I could have made you happy. I only hope that I helped you in your life and that I brought you happiness in times where skies looked darkest, and you needed support. I only hope that I showed you it is okay to love someone.

I'll miss the way you called me lover. I'll miss the way you got off the phone with me each night. I'll miss the way you would hug me when we first saw each other after a long trip. I'll miss the little laughs that I caused in public. I'll miss the times you held me in private and said: "I love you so much Brent."

Most of all I'll miss you.

No matter how I want things to be how they were, I have to deal with the way things are and by God it hurts.

If it hurts you to know how I feel, I am sorry. I needed to say it for myself and for you to hear. I needed to say it when I was calm, and not crying.

I needed to say I'm sorry.

-Brent

"Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver."

-Sophocles, "Antigone"


I am currently broken. I am currently grieving.

Two days before my birthday, Vanessa came down here and broke up with me. I thought it might happen based on her behavior and need to "talk" to me about something important, especially in light of other drama related to other situations there, but she says that we aren't happy no matter how much we love each other.

I knew it as soon as I saw her necklace...it wasn't the Garnet one I got her for her birthday/Valentine's Day...

She doesn't want to hurt me a little each day until I hate her.

She would rather hurt me a lot at once and hope we can be in each others lives.

I recently dealt with an emotional situation that was finally put into perspective, and my love for her came out of it stronger, forged as if by a crucible.

She still left me.

She is obviously upset by this as well. I know it is hurting her...

But I am broken.

I walked away on Friday, was hurt, and couldn't be around her without wanting to hold her and make things right...but she had thought this out, and I felt like no matter what she let me do, no matter what comfort it brought her, it would be charity. We talked a bit off and on...but it was mostly me being hurt.

I walked away calmly...and then obliterated an aluminum baseball bat on several trees. I later then smashed a dying tree stump with my feet. I stayed around the house as much as I could as more unrelated drama unfolded around me, trying to take comfort in my friends that were present and those visiting down here...but I was still broken. Some friends took me to eat later, and I finally passed out from exhaustion after going home.

I went back the next day because I had plans where she was staying. Nevermind that she was there, but being alone was worse. I had spent some time with my "older brother" earlier in the day and that helped. I was told I was handling myself quite well while she was there, with spells of having to go for a walk. My friends were comforting her and me off and on...

I was alone on the couch and I heard her laugh in the other room. I broke down. I couldn't take it. Whatever facade of anger, hurt, and composure was there got shot down and I was a weeping wreck. My friends helped as best they could, but I had to leave because that was where she was staying. I imagine hearing me cry hurt her, and I didn't want to hurt her...

But I couldn't take it. I was weak. I broke down.

I haven't cried this much since my Grandfather or Jack died...to be honest I've never cried this much...

I had never really cried myself to sleep before, but I did last night as the sun was coming up.

I drove home and all I remember was crying more in my bed and then I woke up. My parents wished me a happy Birthday after I got around, gave me my gift, and I was glad for that, but I still felt hurt. I spent the day in the company of more friends and they did what they could to make me feel better and give their birthday wishes, and it helped...

Thank you to all those who have been there, on the phone, in person, and so on. Thank you to all those who will comment here, I do appreciate your sympathy and that you care about me.

But I'm still broken. I don't know if or when I won't be.

I've never given this much to someone before, never tried so hard, never hurdled so much distance, never got this involved, never devoted so so much of myself...

I think I have made her life better, and she has said so...

But all I am right now is broken, and all I wanted was for her to hug me earlier and say, "Happy Birthday."

-Brent

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy!
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.

-William Shakespeare, "Othello", Act 3 scene 3

I want a do over on my weekend...there are a few statements to that effect that I have read so far here in LJ Land. I would have to mostly concur with that, but it's my week that added to it.

But...I'll start with the good of my week. I did get to spend an extra day with Vanessa after I went to see her weekend before last, and the out of town game/feature was good so much that I got seed a good number of ST items and I got see some awesome people that I don't get to see that often. Ellie even game me her iPod Mini that she doesn't use anymore, which rules.

So those parts of last week were pretty damn good.

After that...not so much.

My eyes have been irritated off and on all week and that has affected my work/sales. So this last week was not very productive for me. Productivity equals money so far as a commission based job goes. Coupled with the fact that my co-workers and some of the other teams did REALLY well last week, my envy gauge started hitting the red....

But wait, it gets better.

I've been the middle-man for a couple of friends and their relationship woes/situations...and there is the presence of irrational emotional jealousy from it as it seems that said collective friends might get together after all. I should be happy I helped a situation. As it stands I'm not. It pisses me off, because it makes no damn sense. Sure you can't fault feelings for being what they are, but the reasons that they might get together are seated in the problem areas of my own relationship. This coupled with weird travel issues this week made me irritated, confused, and given little sleep...

But wait, it gets better.

I get up today. I look at my mail. I lost the election I put a lot into for the nerdy gaming/charity club I'm in, even to the point of not really working on a different position application in said dorky collective. I probably came in second place there to boot, which in many ways is like salt on wound because you think you could have done a few more things to win...

Yup...the green-eyed monster has consumed this 20 something in both the professional and personal departments.

Christ...it's even ate me over hobby shit.

Vanessa will be here today after work for the better part of the week, and I am looking forward to her being here. I hope this is a good visit, because I'm in no condition for more "Emo BS" in my headspace. The past three weeks have done it enough.

Emo....that's what happened to a generation of Goths who took Prozac and Ritalin.

We don't need anymore crazy, we're all stocked up here thanks.

-Brent

"Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods."

-Aristotle

Um...wow.

Words escape me. I am even somewhat embarassed.

Needless to say, thank you all who have offered phone calls, prayers, posts, IM's, suggestions, etc...

I quite literally had NO idea.

The situation that occured was something that needed to, wasn't anyone's fault (at least not anyone that is nearby) and was sort of a release of pressure that I hope is a omen of good things to come so far as my relationship goes.

We still love each other and that's what matters. And if this damn distance was worth enduring, so are the rough spots and past hurts that were there at first, even if we didn't see them at the time.

Again, thank you all. I haven't felt this loved in a long time.

-Brent

P.S.

Robert Wolfe, if/when you are in town you FUCKING CALL ME! I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays and was out of town during Guppie's wedding. So call. :)

"When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing?"

-Epictetus

I hate posting while upset. It's my only outlet right this second though as fiction currently escapes me, so I'll get on with it...

I am in a lot of pain right now, even if I am quite aware that the physical aspects of it are psychosomatic.

It is difficult to sleep, even if I am exhausted to the point of microsleep/random REM episodes.

I am hurting, a lot, and there is very little I can do about it, and the only thing I can blame is a person who is literally a "ghost of the past" that I can do nothing about.

I want an enemy to rail against at least, something I can fight dammit. Something that I can overcome...

But it's not my battle. I'm just one of its casualties.

-Brent

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present."

-Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

It has been a long time since I have really written in this little journal of mine. More often than not my daily grind of work and hobby stuff has kept me from it, but tonight I felt like writing, though it may seem moderately stream of consciousness...at least it does to me. Anyway at some points I am sure I will make references to all manner of things that only half of some of the people who read this get, but hey, I feel like writing.

I have had several great months, though not without their frustrating moments. I am very happy in my relationship, even if my girl and I are stubborn and pick at each other off and on. I have traveled and seen a great deal of things these past few months, done nerd related things, seen far flung friends, and so on.

I wept at national monuments. I became closer to a lot of people I have come to know. I have indulged in my inner dork and drama nut....and so on.

My work at the newspaper is unfulfilling, but it lets me travel and wait until the house is done, which before it stops being swelteringly hot I will move my parents into. The house is massive. It has an elevator/lift and a vault. It the bombs come falling at some point, I am glad my parents have their very own bank door. I worry what I will do when it is done...I have little to no idea as to "what next." I am almost done with school, and can finish, but after that I have no idea what it is I want anymore. I have skills I am good at, but nothing that screams to me "Do this!!!" like certain things did when I was younger.

An old college friend got married recently, and there were a lot of friends in town for it that I would have liked to have seen. I was out of town with my lady love, so alas...but I get the feeling that I really am not "wanted" around some of them at this point. I may just be jumping to conclusions at 5:00 AM. That or it's the coffee.

I muse about my hobbies while working. I find that I was thinking of my PC the other day and looked up and it was Cardinal Road I was on. Later I was thinking about my IC Tie-Ins I have had since the beginning of the game and saw a sign for a Mayoral race where the candidate was named "Ellison." I found this to be amusing to no end. Only my laziness has prevented me from flooding my fiction LJ with all sorts of bits and pieces that float around my head.

It is way too hot in the afternoons, way too soon. I feel like I have to take two showers.

I miss having a workout group that didn't involve having to give 50+ dollars a month to a gym. I hate that.

I am making a resolution. I will travel to at least 2 of the following places in the near future (and possibly arrange so others go with me for collective invasions to see collective friends): St. Louis (easy), Seattle, Washington DC, LA, Boston, or New York.

That's all for now from me.

-Brent

"If a writer wrote merely for his time, I would have to break my pen and throw it away."

-Victor Hugo

Christmas was nice. Family was seen. Gifts were given. I am spending time with Vanessa...

More on that good stuff later.

I'm up because I finally finished fiddling with my IC LJ, and those that care to read my scribblings regarding the fictional characters I portray in my geekery can find them here: crimson_tales.

This will be of particular interest to morningsprite and cronono as my first entry also involves their Mage PC's. I hope I captured you guys correctly.

Geekery ahoy...now to try and get some sleep.

-Brent

"Everyone has the obligation to ponder well his own specific traits of character. He must also regulate them adequately and not wonder whether someone else's traits might suit him better. The more definitely his own a man's character is, the better it fits him."

-Cicero

It would appear I'm on a Cicero kick of late in finding relevant quotes.

It is three days to Christmas. I have zero real shopping (as in gifts purchased) done. The tradition continues. I have items in mind, but I have to work it out so I can get it done before I head north for Christmas proper.

On the nerding front, a recent experience (thank you zja2) has convinced to make an IC LJ for various and sundry tales. If I remain bored this evening, I'll do that.....have to come up with a name.....

I get to see Vanessa soon. This makes me a happy panda.

On to the memeage as tagged by cronono and sune_kitty:


Ground Rules: The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "Five Weird Habits of Yourself" and people who get tagged need to write an LJ entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and list their names.

1) I love Italian salad dressing, and cover lots of different foods I eat with it. I like the taste of it with the textures of different foods. Potatoes and Bread Stuffing are the best I have found.

2) I have no middle ground when I sleep. I either can sleep through gunfire (proven) or be slightly jostled and react as one friend of mine puts it, "A twitchy 'Nam vet." It depends on the mood I'm in.

3) As much as I suck at it, as long as a pretty girl is involved, I like to dance. I don't really go out and do it, but given the presence of the fairer sex and strong spirits, I have been known to dance a jig or two. I've been told I can dance an Irish Jig pretty well actually.

4) I catch myself spinning any rod, staff, or implement with any weight to it. I did it for years in High School with Rifle Drill, and it's just second nature now.

5) I stare at myself in mirrors when I talk, even in casual conversation with friends. It's not that I am excessively vain, but I used to be super-self conscious when I was a teenager (more than now) and I used to practice for Debate and Speech Tournaments that way. It's a bad habit I have yet to break. I get messed with about it so much, I made it a mannerism on my Requiem character.

I tag:

_envy_, angel_in_rust, sparroe, thehalveric, thetoken


-Brent

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others."

-Cicero

Marvel at my new icon courtesy of learsfool. It is shiny and nifty.

Thank you very much. :)

...I just realized I put a quote in this journal for a thank you and an icon...I'm such a dork.


-Brent

"Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart."

-Victor Hugo

The past few months have been equally full of fury and collective boredom it seems. I am up early, in Kansas City visiting Vanessa (who I am letting sleep, since I know I can't right this second), and thinking on the recent events of my life...

Traveled, seen some old friends, made some new ones, spent time with my love, involved myself in more gaming goobery and worked on the house.

That's about it really.

All in all...it isn't unsatisfying as a whole, but it seems like I have dole-drums of life that pass on by only to have brief spots of vibrant activity and joy.

I'm not manic depressive, but I believe this is what most people refer to as "the grind" of life. I find the grind part distasteful as a whole.

Deep down I know there is something more that I need to do with my existence, but I cannot figure it out anymore. I used to cling to what I was going to do with my life, but after having the curtain pulled back as it were, I do not think I could do so with same idealistic shine in my eyes. Uncertainty has always, to be frank, pissed me off, and I guess that is what is truly hanging at the back of my mind.

All in all I look at what I am writing right this second...think of where I am...and write it off as existentialist ravings as I stare at the chip that's been on my shoulder since I was a wee lad. It's there. I assure you.

However...looking though the lens of this holiday season, I have much to be thankful for. Despite catching every bug on the wind this year, I am in good health. I have found a person who loves me and I her, and with luck it will last. I have parents that love me that I know will and do help me through the rough times. I have friends who bring joy to my heart every time I see them.

If you fall under the heading of any who I have mentioned, thank you for being who you are.

So while my own inner thoughts wax melancholy, my heart is most certainly not.

Let's just hope I don't get hit by a bus or something, because that would suck. ;)

Happy Holidays everyone, and may all your hearts be full of joy as well.

-Brent

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

-John Lennon

Sort of a brief update on my end...

I am still happily in love and visited my angel not too long ago, but I still miss her. I do not get to see her until October, but I look forward to it with great anticipation.

I have been very busy at work, and the house should be completed in December (though I think January is a more accurate assessment) and after that off to finish being educated barring any speed-bumps along the way.

On the hobby front, gaming has been okay, but I find at least with Cam games I have much more fun at out of town games as I feel like I can "take the gloves off" as it were.

In the wake of national tragedy (and in light of the one that happened on this very day four years ago), I am simply amazed at all the finger pointing and armchair commando action going on. Get the situation solved, and then assign blame wherever it is deserved. Bear with me on this, but my opinion comes from this particular description...

My mother just returned from Biloxi with her boss (the General) and her description can be likened to a bit of prose that comes to mind: "It's as if the wrathful hand of God Almighty swept across the coast leaving flinders in its wake."

With that said, an agreement is an agreement, so here is this meme:

1. Reply with your name and I will write something random about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I will tell you my first memory of you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind you of.
7. I'll then ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this in your LJ.

-Brent

"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody."

-Benjamin Franklin

Warning: This is rant, and I'm an angry mick right now...

Yesterday was my birthday, and no this post isn't a rip-roaring discussion of the good time I had. My birthday was average, no great tales or crazy exploits other than the usual traveling drunken debauchery when Josh and that crew of fellows and I get together.

No, this dear readers, is about assholes.

I returned to my car this afternoon (admittedly having parked my car in not the not great neighborhood where Josh lives, but under a light and near other cars), to find the small window next to the back-right passenger window broken. Also some things were missing and my glovebox was open. It looked to have been done with a screwdriver, very cleanly I might add.

See? Assholes...but wait there's more...

I was likely robbed by dorks.

Yes, I said dorks.

What they took? Not the car radio, but my CD's, satchel bag, and gaming books I was taking back to my house (specifically Star Wars and some Sci-Fi stuff, some of it borrowed). What's more...they may have stolen my dice (unless I took them inside my house and have forgotten where I set them).

If my dice are at home, the books looked pretty and could be pawned away...but if my dice were stolen, dorks...

Those fuckers caused 400 dollars of damage to my car window, took my and some friend's books, took my CD's, and possibly my dice.

If I find the putrid assclown (or assclowns) who perpetuated this deed upon my person, I will stomp a steaming mudhole in their asses with a warmth in my heart and smile on my face. So if you are the party or parties who have done this, know that you have rightfully earned an ass-beating at my hands should I catch you.

All the proper things were done, police called, reports filed, insurance people talked to...

...oh yeah, apparently my insurance company has distilled all their competence into the employee who dealt with me at the end of the cute little game of phone tag I played with them. Also the damage is under my deductible. Joy.

When I had the urge to just drive to Chicago with the work lull I'm in on the house, I should have gone. I could have seen Vanessa and had a better birthday (which I might add I thought my folks forgot until 9:30 PM when my Mom called me).

Happy Fucking Birthday to me.


-Brent